THE MONSTER IN THE CLOSET…

Not all of the fears we have are as cute as these little guys……

We’ve all lived with change and uncertainty our entire lives; in fact it is one of life’s few consistencies. You would think we would expect it by this stage of our lives, right? Not so much. Knowing we are all human and have fears/anxieties, we’ve listed a few top fears of women over sixty and, more importantly, wanted to share some ideas and resources to help smooth them out a bit.

BEING ALONE…

I don’t know about you but, I’m accustomed to rushing around like my hair is on fire rocketing from one place to another. All the while scheduling meetings and things we all have to get done. Being so very over-scheduled and over-committed, that we rarely make the time to be alone. I’ve always referred to this mode as “sitting in the dark”. It’s my “down” time….it’s that hour at the gym where I can “zone out” and be calm and uninterrupted. Consequently, when we do get the opportunity we pace around anxiously, wondering whom we can call, text, or connect with in life or on Social Media. Some begin to conjure all sorts of frightening scenarios of a future spent alone.

Here’s the deal….being alone and spending time quietly doesn’t mean being lonely. Rather than worrying about it, maybe it’s time to take it for a test drive. Make a commitment to take time by yourself, getting to know who you are and what you want from your life. Or, just enjoy the solitude and privacy.

Naturally, spending time with friends and family is a good, good thing but, learn to take some time for yourself.

AM I LOSING IT?

When we forget to take the keys out of the front door or, put the water in the coffee machine before we turn it on, or we call our daughter two of her siblings’ names before we get to hers, we may begin to worry that we’re losing it.

Fortunately, being distracted or “ditzy” is not the same as having a serious medical condition. According to the US National Vital Statistics Report, the average 60-year-old today, has a 4.8% chance of developing Alzheimer’s in their life; that’s a 95.2% chance you won’t. Feel a little better? Come on…..

Those are fabulous numbers. Your valuable energy would be better-spent taking care of your brain, and sharing your talents and humor with the world.

THE GRIM REAPER.

As each year passes, we become a little more aware that we will not live forever (I am committing to hitting 120….just saying). We may begin to worry about the passing of our friends and loved ones. The fear of death is ultimately fear of the unknown and fear of loss – loss of life, as we know it.

DOES ANYONE SEE ME?

Being “downsized” or “retired” before you are ready, being passed over for a promotion because you aren’t as tech savvy as that 28-year-old, or watching the forty-something power couple get seated at the restaurant while you stand patiently (and invisibly) by, can take a toll on your self-esteem.

Sometimes it seems that our youth-obsessed world is deliberately marginalizing, patronizing, and sidelining us. It didn’t seem to happen in the 60’s and 70’s and the good news is….we DON’T have to accept it now.

As Mary Catherine Bateson reminds us in her inspirational Ted Talk, “We have to liberate ourselves from the stereotype of aging.”

We’ve been exposed to this type of movement before, and our own awareness always precedes them. Let’s not even recognize it. Take a deep breath and move forward. Take stock of your passions, talents, and allies and become an agent for change.

WHEN DID I GET THAT LINE??!!

We’ve become “celebrity” driven as a society. We are riveted by their antics and out buying whatever product they are currently using. It’s time to stop. Take a moment and assess all of your talents, strengths and knowledge. All fabulous and all relevant today.

I think it was Jamie Lee Curtis who first pointed out the absurdity of trying to keep up with the “Hollywood” youth cult. She proudly stopped doing all those things she thought would stave off aging and was photographed by an international magazine in her undies. Rolls and all!

Let’s support women who are already actively engaging mainstream and social media to change and redefine what it means to be a beautiful woman. Let’ s raise amazing, confident women and spend time pointing out the value of intelligence, humor and confidence. I call it SWAGGER!

WILL I HAVE ENOUGH?

A great many women in our demographic never learned to balance a checkbook. Some have never paid a bill on their own. Whatever the experience, you have time to learn NOW. Set an intention to ask a friend or professional to help you. Do it over wine and really have some fun! Don’t become paralyzed by it……it’s NEVER too late to learn a new trick girls!

Money concerns? Escape From Cubicle Nation recommends a side-hustle – something you’re passionate about. Start now while you’re still working, and if something unexpected should happen you won’t be caught unprepared. Get excited…..this is a great creative opportunity. Never feel as though you are too old to start something new and fun. Just do it (Nike AGAIN).

Another thing to consider is downsizing. Global financial and environmental concerns have brought about a trend toward minimalism. You may feel lighter and more confident cleaning out the old and living with things that you LOVE. Try it on…..nothing set in stone. Enlist some pals and make a Saturday of it…..of course, wine after, right?!

We are all human (I do have a few I question…..) and everyone has a little concern about something. Which of the fear listed do you have an issue with? What have you done to improve or eradicate the fear? How would you make the listed fears better? Let me know!

Bryce National Park
**My FEAR of actual camping…..
xoxo, Rosanna
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